Day 21. Diary – 15th April – Catch train to Monaco, its only a 20 minute journey from Ville Franche Sur Mer, so I am told. My mums been here twice and so has my sister and they have filled my head with pictures and stories of a quaint little village on the outskirts of bustling Nice and Monaco. Maybe next year.
Day 22. there’s a bit of a story here as to why day 21 never came to be. As you read this story I ask you to ponder how many computers, tablets, printers, (you get the gist), are lying disabled, dumped, discarded, due to corona virus. A new sort of abuse to go with a new virus. CCA is born, Corona Computer Abuse, born through frustration of an environment whereby its prevalence in our daily lies has caused stress and anxiety of new levels. Perhaps it, CCA , was always there, lying dormant, waiting to strike.
If only they could talk , like some sort of Terminator machine takeover. If that were so I would now be in captivity pleading with a powerful computer leader that I am indeed a sane, gentle and of course kind person but for my moments of madness when I just couldn’t get the bloody thing to work. Or I could plead self defence by way of its complete defiance and utter refusal to see any reason or show any concern for my declining mental state, was indeed pure psychological abuse, in other words it made me do it. For me lost car keys, or perhaps a missing shoe are high on the list of things that can insight a response that is perhaps not in keeping with the event but in terms of anger management issues nothing can compare to when technology doesn’t do what’s it supposed to (REPEATEDLY) its manic.
It all started as a relatively normal lock down day when sometime in the afternoon I sat down to start my day 21 blog and just as I had begun the lawyer sent a document, 27 pages long, with simple instructions: just print, then initial each page, sign on the dotted line and scan back. Easy Peasy you may well think, I however did tackle this task with little enthusiasm, as with a very basic home printer /scanner I was already forewarned that the task would be tedious and time consuming, with little satisfaction of job well done at the end. However needs must and I begin. Print. Page 10, run out of ink. Pink bloody ink. Who cares its black and white? Fill pink ink with yellow to try and trick it. Reset. Nope it bloody knows and only pink ink will do. Breathe put empty pink back. Reset. Grey scale. Breathe. Page 18 printer jams, instruction: clear jam and press ok. 30 mins later, step away from the machine. Walk around the house. Breathe. Printer jam cleared, printer slightly scarred due to violent nature of clearing jam. I gloat in smugness at having won paper clearing round and complete printing. Now scan back, one page at a time, page 19 (AGAIN) internet drops out. Printer payback, “Signal lost please start again”. I repeat step away from the machine. Breathe. Start again. One page at a time.
Yes I am grateful. Grateful. Grateful. Yes I am kind. My cup overfloweth, but Jesus wept I seriously gave that inanimate object a life of it own.
But wait there’s more. Having finally got the said document back to the lawyer I thought I would change the tone of where my day had headed and finish my blog. Day 21. I had only just started it when I left it on hold for the printing / scanning task but in some sort of weird camaraderie with its tech mate, it too isn’t going to play ball and it refuses to let me in. Take That. It wins. I give up.
A Covid life is so much more dependant on technology due to our lack of physical contact with the outside world. Our work, our meetings, our socialising is all condensed to these little screens and whilst it enables us to connect, let’s just say nicely (in case it hears us) that it can and does have its issues. Yes some are user error for example the first Zoom “happy hour” for a dozen, 50 plus year old woman (which is really only 40 minutes due to the nature of Zoom), it takes us 30 mins just to all log in and work out how to turn the camera and sound on. We have done it once a week, so three times now and there are still two people who haven’t yet mastered the art of clicking on the link. (you know who you are). So yes there is user error yet in my defence I feel STRONGLY that sometimes they are just not kind and that is not ok. So let’s just move on. I have sought professional help (with technology not insaneness) and am just going to skip Day 21 and simply start again.
Day 22. In my diary I am still in Ville Franche Sur Mer doing something not technical like buying bread, sun-dried olives, salami and cheese at a market and here in real life I am being kind and grateful and posting wonderful Mauao street art which to me represents, a little bit out of reality, just like when you get beaten by your computer.
And in the prophetic words of Japanese paramedics (see Japan blog – I am not a brave blossom). “you calm down lady, OK”.
